Psychological Effects Of Relocation For Children

Published Date: 02 Nov 2017

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February 23rd 2013

Introduction

The divorce of parents considerably destabilizes their children’s sense of stability and security. In particular relocation is one of the most agonizing issue children undergo in post divorce and divorce litigation because relocation is in part a win or lose situation for the child’s parents. There is o much stake for both parents. For the parent proposing the relocation move after a divorce, it may include a great career opportunity, a new marriage, or even a means to ease the shame of a marriage gone wrong. On the other hand, for the parent disputing the move, it may mean the loss of daily participation or interaction in the child’s life, opportunities to attend dance recitals, school functions, and other notable milestones and eventually the loss of the relationship with a child. When a custodial or residential parent seeks to move to another geographic region, a child’s sense of security and stability is threatened.

Discussion

Children usually continue to consider both parents as part of their family, even after relocation. When they asked to draw or talk about their families, children usually include both of their parents even if they are divorced. In addition to this, if the interests of the whole family that includes extended family members, other children and the parents there might be negative effects for every member of the family system. Therefore, relocation cases just like other visitation or custody cases should be considered from the perspective of a developmental family system. Everyone in the family system should be considered as persons under dissimilar developmental stages in the context of a divorced or separating family. The phrase separating is used for the reason that a relationship between parents continues past the divorce, physical separation and even re-marriage.

From the time parents physically divorce or separate, the bigger geographic distance is enforced on the non residential parent and the children and their relationship considerably changes. For the child and non-residential parent, the separation disrupts the natural rhythm of the relationship between the parent and child. Non residential parents lose the daily contact with the child, a lot of which orbits around the common life activities. The full responsibility of daily child care falls on the residential parent, who now assumes other responsibilities that were previously the realm of the non residential parent. A child’s relationship with both the residential and nonresidential parent under the best circumstances severely changes from the moment of parental divorce or separation. The primary psychological task facing parents and children is to strengthen their relationships under the new circumstances of their lives.

Additionally, relocation of one parent subjects children to numerous potential personal losses. ( ) affirm that once a child lives more than half an hour away from the non residential parent, maintaining the relationship between then requires fragmenting the child’s activities and life. A more which results in a new school, a new town and hours of travelling time, produces another considerable shift in the effect of the move. The non residential parent is no longer able to carry out the brief visits. The child has a different life, where the non residential parent somewhat becomes an outsider, no longer sharing the same environment and same experiences. Whenever a move calls for extensive travel time, and overnight visitation, the potential for major psychological repercussions is increased. Furthermore, when children spend two weekends a month away from their main residence, their own social lives are disturbed. They cannot go to a friend’s birthday party or join a baseball team which has practice on a Sunday. When the distance is too long to allow weekend visits, children might spend their vacations and holidays away from their residential friends and family.

Numerous child scholars believe stability and continuity are crucial for positive development in children. Relocation disrupts that stability and continuity. Whether relocation has a negative or positive effect on a child’s adjustment relates to numerous variables like the frequency of moves, distance of the move as well as parental attitude towards the move. According to ( ), "…relocation can be more challenging for family members who cannot refuse the decision, like the children…" Following relocation, children with prior academic or psychological problems might experience increased difficulty. ( ) found that two primary factors which account for children’s adjustment are parental self-confidence and satisfaction and a child’s prior adjustment. A common challenge for a child is the feeling that they have to side with one parent or the parent will not love him/her anymore. This is significantly complicated by the parents’ devastation of lost love. In particularly hostile divorces, a child with vulnerable parents can suffer from low self esteem as a result of one parent who distances him/herself because of the divorce whilst suffering the loss of protected feelings from the love of the residential parent.

Elements such as special needs of the child, characteristics or ethnic differences might also contribute to complexity in relocation for some children. For instance, a child with particular academic needs might move from a school with remarkable resources to another that has limited resources. In the same way, a child might move from a homogenous community where he/she belongs to a minority group to a diverse one. A child may also express distress when moving from a large town to a small town for instance, because he/she is not used to dressing the way everybody else is dressing. Thus, children are vulnerable to further disruption, particularly around the period of a divorce and these disruptions create risks to the adjustment of a child to the divorce. Divorce already detaches a child from one parent, even if the parent spends a substantial amount of time with the child following the divorce. ( ) states that grown children also experience anxiety when parents move out of the family home because of divorce or separation. The loss of a family home marks a loss of a safe and familiar place. For a child of divorced parents, such a loss gives a physical marker to the end of their family. And, relocation to a new area might be experienced as the last image of the family break-up for the children.

In addition to the clear disruptions in the child’s peer system, schooling, relationships with others, and the child’s acquaintance of the community, relocation upsets the relationships that a child has with each parent; changes in regular contact with one parent changes the relationship. For instance, following relocation, the help with homework that a child often received from one parent before relocation may no longer happen. Such a change certainly has a significant effect on the child. Also, when geographical distance exists between the homes of both parents, a child is placed in a position of living with one or single parent. According to ( ), a child has more problems with aggressive behavior, depression, delinquent behavior and social withdrawal when he/she starts living with one parent after relocation And if the single parent is a father and the child is a daughter, there are more risks to poor child/parent relationship.

Conclusion

Relocation creates a situation where there is a potential for psychological trauma to the affected children from the loss of one parent. The anticipated and actual losses linked with relocation are always negative and salient emotional experiences and such traumatic losses negatively affect a child’s sense of stability and security.